Beyond Being Shy - Social Anxiety and Avoidant Personality Disorder

I became interested in social anxiety and a personality disorder called Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) after stumbling across the two terms while doing research on "shyness."

People would always call me shy. However, I knew for me it was beyond just being shy. I was very uncomfortable around groups of people I didn't know. The longer I stayed in the situation the worse it got. I would eventually think of some lame excuse to leave.

Why did I feel this way? What was going on? Should I go see a psychiatrist, take medication, participate in group therapy sessions, or do I research and get as much information as I can, ammunition, if you will, to help me battle and conquer this thing?

I decided on the latter. Please know I am in no way suggesting that anyone who is seeing a therapist stop going or if you're taking medication to stop taking it. No way Jose! This is just what I feel more comfortable with at this present time...doesn't mean it won't change in the future.

My articles are my experiences and documentation of my journey on the path of discovery of social anxiety and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I remember reading about social anxiety but then after some time I came across Avoidant Personality Disorder. I said to myself, "Finally! This is it! I finally had a name to go with the face of the emotions I had been feeling all these years.

I was happy and in a sense relieved. It described the similarities of social anxiety and Avoidant Personality Disorder and how they overlapped but that Avoidant Personality Disorder was more intense and with Avoidant Personality Disorder you not only evaluate yourself while in social situations but you also evaluate people's reactions to you. With all this going on at the same time it's hard to concentrate, which causes you to lose your thought and have speech that is choppy and not very fluent.

My articles will not be in chronological order, mind you. The brain is funny sometimes. You can be doing nothing and then "BAM!" something from your past scrolls across the screen of your mind and you're left sitting there in shock watching a documentary. (I wrote an article about one of those experiences.)

Having knowledge about something gives you power, which is where my new found strength to go out and conquer came from. What is it that I'm conquering? Me.

This may not describe you at all and you may think it's all quite silly but if you think about it you most likely know someone suffering from this. Someone who likes to stay home and appears fearful (anxious) around others. It may be a family member or friend. I'm not talking about someone that is shy or quiet but someone who is extremely inhibited and a borderline recluse.

On the other hand, if your two year old runs and grabs your leg, put's one finger in their mouth with eyes downcast every time a stranger comes around, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have social anxiety or Avoidant Personality Disorder. They may just be shy and will grow out of it in time. Things go south and it turns into a disorder when as they get older it goes beyond being shy and becomes an avoidant fear that interferes with everyday life in a negative way.

Having social anxiety or Avoidant Personality Disorder prevents you from doing the things you want to do. One person will be able to overcome their shyness (fear) and do the things they want to do. Whereas the person with social anxiety and/or Avoidant Personality Disorder secretly wish and dream about doing those things but the intense fear (anxiety) holds them back. Know, too, that trying to force them to be more outgoing and uninhibited will not work. They (we) need lots of patience and encouragement.

Notice I said "we." I am by no means “over it.” Yes, I still have my moments but I am far from the deep dark place of despair where I once was.

Finally, it is not my agenda to be down and gloomy, negative and hopeless. I want to be upbeat and positive. I will try to insert a little humor here and there. No, I’m not a Joan Rivers, Jim Carey or an Eddie Murphy. I can be a little corny at times but hey, who isn’t?

I hope you enjoy my articles. If you don’t relate to them personally, then please pass them on to someone you feel could use them. I would have loved to have received a book or an article “back in the day” (by the way I’m 51 years old so 'back in day' is part of my lingo - so is 'lingo'). You can also send them the link to my new website, although at the time of this writing it is still "under construction."

Pay me a visit if you get the chance at

www.social-anxiety-beyond-being-shy.com

I also have a T-shirt store, visit me there at

www.zazzle.com/designsbyglt

Thank you for dropping by and here's to a happy life!

GloriaT